Tag: writing

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101 Ways for YOU to Die

I realize that this might be a little dark, but I’m going, to be honest with you…I’m a dark person, with dark thoughts. My daughter once text me “Remember to keep murder in your thoughts”. It sounds a bit weird, but her intention was to remind me not to DO murderous things, only to keep them in my head.

Welcome to my inner thoughts.

Episode 1:

I work with a very sweet person (very socially unaware extrovert-literally the worst kind of person), but she tends to talk A LOT…I am not much of a talker and very much an introvert. Being an introvert does not only mean not talking, being around people exhausts me… it’s like their very energy sucks the life out of me until I am nothing but a dead raisin. One particular day we were working next to each other and I knew it was going to be a challenging day. As I started my day I took a deep breath & tried to believe the best about the day ahead. (Mental meditation *oohhhmmm* wishing I’d brought sage) 

I lost, very early in the day…too early in the day. There were actually times that I didn’t even REALIZE that she was talking to me. Words flying out of her mouth, me looking around wondering who those words were supposed to be hitting…only to realize they were hitting the intended mark. I felt like I was middle-of-conversation eavesdropping. 12 hours of this! I was being assaulted in my ear hole. Words were being shoved at me without my willing consent. I started watching the clock, knowing it would only make the day feel like an eternity, but trying to figure out if my 1/2 hr break (that was hours away) would be enough “recharge” time.

I can tell you now that it was NOT….I recharged enough to eat & stare off into space willing the air around me to somehow provide enough life to not lose my shit. I only have so many words that I will say in a day and it turns out I only have so many words that I can take in a day. Sewing her lips shut was becoming a valid option. It was either going to be that or stabbing a pen through my already bleeding ears. I was leaning toward the former considering I was already in enough pain and she looked to be in none. Fortunately enough for her and ultimately for me (I wouldn’t do well in jail) the day ended and with it the torture that I had to endure. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t scream obscenities or tell her that I hoped she choked (very violently) on the words that she was firing at me! My ears are once again safe…until the next unaware extrovert shoves their unwanted words into my very soul. 

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Hello, Hello, Hello

I think I might be the world’s biggest procrastinator. Why you might ask? Well, I’ve owned this blog for about 5 years and this is my first official post. I have found a million things to do and each time they are incredibly important, thus cannot wait for even another second when I even think about writing. I’ll let you in on a not well-known fact about me, I have this huge dream of writing, of becoming an author. Whenever I think about what it would be like to create a world that people want to be a part of it gives me happy tingles all over. I also hate people and would love to have to interact with them less daily, but that is another story. Imagine having complete control over the characters and every aspect of this foreign world! Ok, that makes me sound like I have control issues, but it is just about being able to take the qualities of people and accentuating the parts you like, but leaving out the parts you don’t like. Maybe not leaving out the parts you don’t like, but putting the parts of life that you wish would happen in the story. I feel like I’m still not making complete sense so let me explain. I am kind of a big justice person. I hate stories where the character is suppressed and unable to have any kind of voice.

My favorite character arcs are the ones in which the person is meek and suppressed, but by the end of the story, they find their voice and can draw strength to make things right. It always has you rooting for the character and for some reason when they finally stand up to the bully, you can’t help but draw some strength from that. Well, at least, I can’t seem to help it. I could talk for hours about character development and what all of it means to me. Good character development can make or break a book. If you have a good story, but your characters are one dimensional it can ruin the book. I love all kinds of books and all different genres, but I go through periods where I need to read something that is in-depth and has “meat” to it. Likewise, I sometimes want a book that is simple, mindless, and entertaining. I usually want those when my life is in an upheaval and I need a little less drama. It is kind of like watching one of those Lifetime movies…girl finds herself in a situation over her head, usually, because she is needing to “find herself”, a knight in shining armor arrives, but they don’t get along at first, then tender moments ensue, they give each other looks and find they are falling for each other only to then have a past love or situation arise that the other miss reads, hate comes back full force until one yells that they love the other one, then everyone lives happily ever after. The same story, insert new names and occupations. Add a little explicit love scene in the book and you’ve got yourself a fool-proof bestseller. I know for me I can only read so many of those before my brain goes numb. I want to read some stories that make me think a little. A character that I can see myself in and that challenges me to be better. 

Vicious by VE Schwab is one of those books that was hard to read mindlessly. My husband even said that he couldn’t listen to his usually audible version because he couldn’t do other things while listening. The characters in this book are very complex because they are like humans, they are not definitively good or bad. I loved diving into this story and never quite knowing for sure who was going to end up the good guy. Even the “good guy” didn’t necessarily see himself as a good guy. That is genuinely the human condition…at the end of our own story we hope that we are the good guy, but a lot of times in the middle we are a little bit of both.